I’ve wanted to write a decent blog for some time now. So many things have happened in the last few months and I really should share them, if not for anyone else but myself.
I guess my main focus has been work, so I should start with work. Business is tough in so many markets and industries and I’m aware of so many people being made redundant over the past 18 months. It still comes as a shock when the axe is waved in your direction for a second time in as many years. This time I felt a real sense of dread and foreboding. Having recently changed locations and had a senior management change, I was an unknown quantity. All the projects that I’d done, all the success and hard work were all forgotten and any advantage I could gleam from that was lost. I was told that I would have a 30 day consultation and during that time I would have to complete a series of battles with professional cage fighters and have an interview. Okay, the cage fighters are bollocks but the stress of waiting 30 days to find out my fate was so much worse.
The stress of my dad’s death made my resilience to this stress no existent. I was worn down emotionally and had no fight left in me. I was certain I was doomed with all the ramifications that go with being made redundant, such as losing your home and way of life. As time passed and I had an opportunity to reflect on the possibilities that presented themselves I came to realise that maybe having the chance to change my life was a good thing. Most of us are trapped in the security of what we know. I’ve been doing my job for a long time now and I know most of it very well. Why would I change and risk so much. The fear of the unknown is what keeps us where we are. I however was coming to realise that if that choice was forced upon me I could become whatever I wanted and maybe happier as a result. The idea of working for a charity or working abroad bore some appeal but until I get the results from the interview, it was always an idea. I know for a fact that the stress of the situation was taking its toll on my ability to focus on my job in hand. I was distracted and often in thought. My fellow managers that were also facing this possibility were much more in control and clear about what and where they stood and that thought in some measure made me feel a little better and gave me the strength to pull myself together somewhat. Then a new fear was brought to my attention. I could be successful but sent far away and or working somewhere I hated. Having done over 4 hours a day travelling to work every day and working in a place where I was more universally hated than Anjem Choudary. I really didn’t want to go through that again. Now I wanted out more than anything. It’s strange but in such a short while I’d gone through a range of emotions from losing my job to wanting a new life where I could be happy. Of course the other and third option was keeping my job and doing more work for the same money. Now I actually like the place and people I work with and the extra work load was not something I was willing to accept but I was certain that my fate was sealed in a long commute or working with various spawns of the devil. On interview day I put on my best suit and focused on doing the best I can. It could have been easy just to spend the next hour or so just saying wibble, wibble, pertang pertang… but I would hate myself and I have no idea what that last comment actually means.
The interview was meant to be 30 to 45 minutes and was based on me giving examples of being a manager. I answered the questions as best I could, however I did take nearly two hours doing it. Was this a mistake or did it show that I had lots of experience? It might just say that I don’t know when to stop talking. Nothing new there!!! After this I had a long week to wait for the result. This was a strange week. Nothing more could be done and we all kind of sat around like we had just finished a great battle against the 300. We talked, reflected and all in all it was actually a very calm time.
Sadly, one of my fellow managers got an interview and decided to jump ship before the axe had a chance to fall in his direction. Ironically all three of us passed the interview but one had to go and as a result of him leaving I was automatically selected to stay. So I never knew if I was good enough to stay where I was or weather I was going to be moved. All that stress, thought, effort and personal suffering was for nothing. I have to say, keeping my job had left me numb and with a bitter taste in my mouth. Now the hard work begins…
Summer in the store has been a tough one. It’s been hot, humid and the air conditioning is like an Asthmatic mouse. It’s sad that I don’t work in St Tropez or St Barts as I’m sure that the clientele would be immaculate. As opposed to the fat ugly women who enter my world, half dressed and with tramp stamps all over their bodies, mostly with the name of their first born across an arm or more bizarrely around a KFC swollen neck. However, it’s not only the Chavington classes that supply amusement but the constant supply of people who have clearly had their ability to create facial expressions removed. A smile isn’t asking that much is it?
Then I’m faced with the vast collection of people who want credit but sadly are as creditworthy as Nick Leeson… I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact they have only just arrived in the UK and have no job, bank account or ability to speak a word of English. What is strange is how they manage to drive off in a car that would take me a thousand years to pay off. It’s hard work too. For us to tell them that their finance is about to be rejected we have to spend up to an hour with them. By this time, other clients are leaving because we have nobody to serve them. Very painful when I want to win business and not lose it. This brings me on to staffing levels and the staffing budget that keeps being reduced. Currently it’s so low I’d have difficulty organising a conga… This causes stress, angry customers and daily verbal abuse. I’m not sure anybody really cares about me and my welfare but surely someone cares about the business?
I managed to get away for a week and leave all the stress behind. I stayed in the UK and rented a place in Kings Lynn which is the most boring town in the entire universe second only to Basildon. However it did serve as a great base to travel around Norfolk. I was so lucky with the weather that I managed to get a tan while sitting on the deep soft sands of Brancaster beach.
I can’t tell you how relaxed I was and how nice Norfolk is. The food was amazing, the people friendly, the shops staff were the most professional I’d ever seen and on the whole I thought it was a great place to visit and live. Just not in Kings Lynn!!!
Okay. I think that will do for now. Please feel free to comment…
M