Last night I visited a London burger restaurant called MEATliquor that has as much in common with McDonalds as Tom Jones has singing quietly. I’ve been meaning to go along for over a year now and the first indication that this place is somewhat different was the long queue to get into the place and the big muscle bound bouncer on the door controlling the crowd which isn’t something you normally see unless your going into a popular nightclub, however I have had to wait for a table with a 1990’s pager for company which doesn’t really compare.
The smell of cooking meat to the poor starving masses waiting outside for a table results in some licking of windows and sad faces pressed up upon the glass that results in the owners taking pity on the crowd by offering them onion rings and dips to help us through the excruciating wait for processed meat.
The wait wasn’t actually that long and finally we entered what my dad would have called ‘The Black Hole Of Calcutta’ If you can imagine a Victorian building with ornate architecture than have someone break in during the night and graffiti the place, break all the lights and the spray fake blood everywhere, (Hope its fake) then you have the interior of MEATliquor, a cross between a Gothic nightclub and an Abattoir after closing.
The beer as you would expect in London was the same cost as refueling the Space Shuttle but the expectation that you open the can yourself and the pour it into your glass while being given the option of given them a gratuity was a little hard to swallow unlike the beer which given the warm night, slipped down easy. The menu was simple with a few options for Sides and Mains that we ordered by inspection lamp. The food in the darkness looked like typical fast food fair but when taking the pictures I was shocked to discover that the fat content layered over the food was the same as you might find in a sewer, which just happens to be secreted beneath a branch of KFC.
Maybe the lack of lighting is designed to deceive the unsuspecting customer that the meal they are about to eat won’t give them a heart attack 30 seconds after leaving the building. The tastes however were excellent as you would expect from a bad food fat rush but it was by no means the best burger I’ve ever had. It was an interesting experience and I would recommend that you go for that reason alone but now I’ve done it, I’m not sure I would need to go again nor could my health face a second dose of exposure. I’ve done my tour of duty and now its up to you.
M
MEATliquor can be found at 74 Welbeck St, London W1G 0BA