Pictures

Moli gets Sherlocked…

July 1, 2015July 2, 2015Moli

Today is meant to be the hottest day of the year. Having booked some time off work over 5 months ago I wasn’t to know that fact and it’s just a fortunate accident that I don’t have to work and I get to sleep in late and keep cool with a nice cold beer and a Dyson fan. I had planned to sit in the sun for a bit but despite the high temperature of 36c it isn’t very sunny. So, I find myself getting Moliblog updated.

Some time ago I attended a Sherlock convention at London’s Excel. The organisers really failed in my opinion to deliver a good and memorable experience. The desire for such a gathering was clearly there with rows and rows and rows of fans having travelled from all over the world to share their love for all things Sherlock. We had to wait in very long lines in one of the big halls and depending on how much money you have and the pass you bought you get to go in earlier than the other poorer people. The ticket prices were extortionate and misleading. I bought a Saturday ticket for £29. I thought this was expensive for just a one day event but I really wanted to go. Once I bought them and got my confirmation email I then had to pay another £2.50 to validate the ticket otherwise they wouldn’t be valid for some reason. I’ve never heard something so ridiculous but I paid it because I wouldn’t want my tickets that I bought to attend the event not to be valid. Why they didn’t just charge me the extra amount at the time I really have no idea. I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t pay? Sorry, you can’t come in with your £29 ticket as its not valid???

The time between buying these tickets passed and the guests were announced which included Sherlock himself, Benedict Cumberbatch. He was giving a talk, having pictures taken with fans and signing autographs. However, all this was only open to the quickest and richest fan with tickets up to £3000. I did pay through gritted teeth to attend the talk but at £35 it was more expensive than the ticket I bought which I assumed was to attend talks anyway. Then to rub salt into the wound I had to validate that ticket too. For Fucks Sake!!! I’ve gone from feeling excited about attending the first Sherlock convention to feeling ripped off.

The long, long line of people were then led into the main hall and the ticket class system just broke down with a mad rush to get inside and see all the surprises on offer. Sadly I was met with more lines of people waiting to visit a room full of shops with frankly not very much on offer that you couldn’t get online already and cheaper. Did my £29 really go on this? There was the special effects stall that was fun. Sugar glass and fake rubber arms to play with and the special effects artists were very informative. However, apart from waiting in line to have my picture taken outside the Sherlock front door and a London bus which given I live in London, I’ve already done. I want my money back!!!

The talk that I paid a fortune for was far from an intimate affair. Thousands of people were crammed into a big hall and once again., depending how much money you have, you got closer to the man himself. I was several miles away from the stage but I had to admit that apart from the tiny arse seat, the hot conditions and the elbow knocking of the woman next to me, Cumberbatch was interesting, informative and funny. I really enjoyed listening to his views on acting and how he approached the role of Sherlock. However, that should have been for the price of admission and not for the grand sum of £69. The stewards didn’t know anything and just told me to ask someone else when I had a question about where to go or what I should do next. There were other talks from production crews but these were so disorganised and if you wanted to attend one it often clashed with another. The guests looked bemused in most cases and failed to give any real insight into their thought process for production design or costume. It felt like they were just pushed on stage and told, get out there. Very poor!!!

Somebody is clearly laughing all the way to the bank and I’m sure it will be back for a second helping of this cash cow in the near future. I, however, won’t be.

Don’t be poor and like Sherlock, you’ll get left behind!

Moli walks, crawls and cries…

June 29, 2015Moli

I’ve been staring at my computer for a long time now. The flashing cursor waiting for my input and I have no idea what to write. Its not that I don’t have anything to write about and its not that I’ve been living in a cave for the past few months. The question that’s been burning on my lips or my fingertips is what should I mention and what should I leave out. I love writing my blog and sharing my thoughts, photography and adventures. I’d never want to upset anyone and I think that life’s dirty laundry should stay private and is only for certain ears and eyes. I have been suffering and I have got great friends that have helped me though some dark weeks. I’m not using any of my energy on hate or anger. I just want to use my energy to focus on my life and my happiness. That is and always should have been the priority. Having just watch the final Top Gear in its Clarkson glory I noticed the remaining presenters talking to camera with an Elephant behind them or at least in the room. So, in homage. Here is an Elephant in the blog.

Moving on with my life,

Having most if not all my super powers back like walking and standing I decided to get out and push myself to get well. The previous month or so I was miserable and totally consumed with my back pain and the more I slept and rested my back with the help of various drugs, the less mobile I was becoming. Sure, it didn’t hurt as much when I laid on the sofa or bed but every day activities weren’t really making much progress like getting to the kitchen or loo. I set myself a challenge to photograph food and drink along the Southbank of London from Waterloo to London Bridge. For me it wasn’t the taking of pictures that was important as the fact I was going to walk from these two locations. Given that moving from room to room has been a challenge like climbing Everest I thrust myself into the world again. Arriving at Waterloo, things were going well and I wandered about at a slow pace heading east along the river Thames snapping away. After a couple of hours I had arrived at London’s Borough Market that is an obvious choice for food and drink but a great one. At this point reader I was not so footloose and fancy free. More hanging on for dear life to every and any tree, lamppost and fat child I could find to keep me upright. To say I was in pain and in tears was an understatement and how I got home is beyond me. I assume it was simply down to sheer willpower and the knowledge that I couldn’t really curl up under a market stall for the next couple of weeks. The walk was painful but it did get me going again. I might have pushed myself too hard but it had to be done.

Anyway, here are the pictures I took some time ago. Please leave me some feedback.

Moli shoots oysters in Downtown Abbey…

March 25, 2015April 8, 2015Moli

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Day trips can be fun but deciding where to go out for the day on a cold Sunday afternoon in March can be a challenge. Ideally I’d like to go for long walks, fresh air and any excuse for a pub lunch but March can be bloody cold and the long walks become a little shorter and the pub lunch gets a little bit longer. Having studied a Google map of southern England for a matter of minutes we decided on visiting the harbor town Whitstable that is famous for oysters that have been caught in the area since Roman times. The high street is small and very quaint with great places to eat including an amazing fish & chip shop called V.C Jones that we decided to indulge ourselves with.

After a monster lunch of Cod and Chips with a big bowl of mushy peas we decided on a walk along the seafront. When we arrived before food it was colder than a Jeremy Clarkson food platter but the weather turned and the sun came out which made for a pleasant stroll in the very fresh sea air and a chance to see the harbor and watch the preparation of the Oysters.

After a wonderful year with my amazing girlfriend we decided to treat ourselves with as an anniversary present with a Spa and hotel trip. We booked into the Ashdown Park Hotel in Sussex and found a large stunning country estate that reminded me of Downton Abbey with the hotel staff dressed in traditional uniforms and delivering a fantastic professional service with great food and the most relaxing grounds you could ever ask for. The room was comfortable but not as impressive as the whole building. When we arrived at night the grounds weren’t visible but in the morning the view from the room was amazing.

Without a doubt it certainly was a great place to relax.

Last weekend I got to do something from my Bucket List that was to fire a shotgun. I went to a Virgin Experience day in Dartford called JJ’s. The details of the adventure offered me tea and seasonal food along with shooting clay pigeons. The reception area was a hole cut out of a trailer where a man with all the charisma of a tortoise welcomed me with a raffle ticket and some advice. “Get ya cutta tea and a cake over there.”

I didn’t expect the Savoy grill but to be presented with a white burger van and my tea in a polystyrene cup and choice of Muffin wasn’t quite seasonal food. While we waited for our instructor in sub zero conditions the sound of shots being fired reminded me of the London Riots a few years ago and I felt right at home. The time came for me to learn how to shoot the heads off Zombies by practicing with little black discs.

The instructor was excellent. Very friendly and within a couple of shots I fell in love with this activity. Out of 32 shots I hit 26, which isn’t too bad for a first go I think. Victoria kept score so I hope she didn’t add a few extra points for me in sympathy?

I’ve still got a sore cheek from the kick back from the Beretta shotgun. My very own war wound. I can’t wait to go back again!

I’ve really enjoyed March. Roll on April.

Moli, dogs and trees…

February 25, 2015February 25, 2015Moli

I’m currently sitting in a really nice Café in Sidcup called the Walnuts while my Land Rover gets its annual service. It’s a complimentary breakfast that makes me feel good about paying dealership prices, however I’m sure it’s all in the price in the end, right? Having survived the rigors of January, the most depressing month in the year, February has been more interesting and far less depressing.

The month started with my God children’s 6^th birthday party. My little darlings Harry and Emily are really growing up fast and with very distinct personalities. It really doesn’t seem that long ago that I was holding them in my arm for the first time but I guess it was 6 years ago. Blimey, where does the time go? I was asked by my friends to take some pictures of their party that I gladly agreed to do. The party was being held at Partyman world of play in Essex, which is primarily a series of pipes that children can crawl inside and slides. As this was a small persons party many of the parents attended too.

It didn’t take long for the adults to have more fun than the kids. Throwing soft balls at each other, running around and pushing children out of the way and stealing their pocket money. Okay, the last bit might be an exaggeration. It was more shoving than pushing, but the whole afternoon everyone was having a really good time and the staff were excellent hosts. I’m not sure my next birthday won’t be there.

GOING TO THE DOGS

Another birthday in February but this time it was a more adult themed event. I was invited to attend a night at Wimbledon dog track which I’ve never been to before.

I’ve been to the track at Romford a few times and really enjoyed myself but I’m always struck by the amount of really shady characters that work and attend these places. I always put bets on every race and choose to do this with the old guys that have Totes near the track side. These men with long coats and flat caps that never look you in the eye and whisper to each other, dealing with them always feels a little dangerous. While trying to put a bet on a three-legged dog called Lucky Boy that was 1000/1, a man walks up to the bookie and says, “£300”. The bookie says “£200”. This exchange goes on for a while and I was starting to think both of them were hard of hearing and needed subtitles to continue but eventually the gambler was given £300 from the bookie with a final, “Is this for the boys?” “Yeah” I must say I was surprised and a little concerned about what I’d seen but didn’t feel confident enough to try it myself and just put my 50p bet on Lucky Boy to win. It didn’t! I did however manage to break even with my betting and have a great night out with friends which I think makes for an excellent evening.

TREE

Towards the end of this month I was invited to the Old Vic to see a play called Tree. I didn’t bother to find out anything about it and was intrigued to discover while waiting to collect the tickets it was a 90-minute play without an interval and a comedy. The last time I went the Old Vic was to see Patrick Stewart in his one-man play of ‘A Christmas Carol’ in 1993. This play has just two actors, so I’m doubling up my actor account. The theater seating surrounded a big tree with no other set to distract the audience and my seat was virtually on the stage with a great view of the exchange between a man waiting for someone in the park (Tim Key) and a man who lives up a tree (Daniel Kitson, Writer & Director). It was really funny and engaging with a constant stream of banter and jokes that took the audience on a journey about life, love, honesty and integrity.

I always wish that I spent more time going to the theater and I can honestly say that this play was the perfect excuse. As the exchange of perfectly timed conversation played out, I found myself doing a sort of tennis head looking up, looking down as each character spat a verbal ball at each other. Occasionally the expected return caught me off guard and I was looking at the wrong person that meant I was watching the intricate performance of someone just waiting and listening for a reply. A truly great play and well worth a getting a ticket to experience yourself.

Now, time for another coffee!

Roll on March.

Moli returns…

January 21, 2015Moli

Hello… I’m back!!!

I was shocked to discover that my last blog entry was 2 months ago. When I think back over that period of time I realise that it’s not a lack of adventure in my life but a lack of time, focus and energy I’ve had to write, mostly caused by my job and its demands. A company ruling however stops me from saying anything about where I work and the things that I do. However, I had a very busy November and December and I’m glad now to say that I’m back.

The days of 2014 were one of the best years I’ve had and its not too often that I can say that. I found love, I made new friends and I had fun. Life has a way of changing in a heartbeat and nobody is more surprised than me how quickly that can happen. I’m not pretending that I’m completely happy with my lot in life but I feel that 2014 has made moves in the right direction to get the things that I want in my life but with plenty still to do. I know that if you wanted to know what happened last year to me then you can read the pages of blog entries from last year but I wanted to share a short story from December that always brings a smile to my face since. I was having a drink with a friend while a reception for something or another was going on around us. I notice the impressionist Jon Culshaw walking past me and having the opportunity asked if he could rate my Tom Baker impression.

He agreed but before I could set off he started with, “Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow”. I then did my “Hello Harry, Hello Sarah” which is the limit of my impression. We had a little Tom baker off and then looked over to see Sir Trevor McDonald watching us. Bizarre world.

I went to my first fancy dress party in over 200 years before Christmas that I actually enjoyed. I say that because I don’t normally enjoy them and always look like someone who couldn’t be bothered and always have the worst costume despite always trying hard to look good. This party had a theme of your favorite Christmas character from a movie. A group of us decided to go as the cast of Die Hard which of course is a great Christmas film.

Having had a costume planned out for me, it would appear that my extra eating in the build up to Christmas meant it didn’t fit and I once again had the worst costume. All photos of me in my back up costume have been destroyed to save the eyes of innocent people but the party was great fun and that’s the most important part.

2015

I recently took a few days off work that was desperately needed and decided to be a tourist in my own city of London. For a long time I’ve wanted to tour Tower Bridge that is probably one of the best-loved and well-known symbols of London. The view from the top of the bridge gave me a unique and fascinating view across the Thames and the city beyond.

Going outside of the school holiday period and in the winter allowed me the time to enjoy the history of the bridge, take in the views and to play on the new glass floor which for those with vertigo including myself was a very uneasy experience but thrilling.

The sense of falling was overwhelming but an assistant told me that the glass was stronger than the wood that surrounding it, however it’s a shame that my mind and my Arse didn’t believe him. I really enjoyed the tour and learnt about something I see every day. It’s a great tour and well worth a visit.

That same week I took a trip to Bletchley Park that was the home of the code breakers. For those not aware of the history, during the Second World War the Germans had a coding machine called Enigma that altered communications and protected their contents from enemy eyes.

Breaking this code was the job of an amazing team of code breakers at Bletchley Park lead by a man called Alan Turing. He created a machine called ‘The Bome’ which broke the code and shortened the war by at least two years and saved over an estimated 15 million lives.

A truly remarkable story and one which Hollywood has decided to tell in the recently released film called ‘The Imitation Game.’ Having immersed myself in the subject at Bletchley I decided to watch the film in the evening. The performance of Benedict Cumberbatch was fantastic but the film lacked focus, direction and failed to really show how important the work of Turing and his team was to WW2.

It tried to cover so much of Turing’s life and work that it struggled to tell any of it well. If you want to understand the subject I recommend going to Bletchley on a warm day. Enjoy the grounds and learn from the very knowledgeable guides about the important work done there. The movie doesn’t cut it like they do.

I think that brings me up to date. Normal service resumes.

Beans Means Moli…

October 28, 2014Moli

I’m currently sitting in the Thames Barrier Park café having breakfast during half term and I’m please to report that the hordes of screaming children either haven’t risen yet or have better places to go on this warm, blue sky day in October. It’s quite and beautiful looking out onto the gardens and the river Thames beyond. So why am I frowning? Well, I’ve taken a week’s holiday from work in order to relax and reflect before getting yet another year older and undoubtedly wiser and maybe a little more cantankerous. I’d argue however that any grouchy behavior on my part is not as a result of getting old but a lack of tolerance of the people around me. I asked the less than animated Café man for a coffee, some water and beans on toast. I love eating beans on toast for breakfast and I think it’s really hard for anyone to get this wrong. The recipe is in the title for goodness sake and if you follow the recipe you have it. Beans on toast!!! Now somehow the title of Beans on toast has clearly passed this man by and he managed to serve up, Toast and beans in a bowl with a look that says, “Can you put this together as it’s far too complicated for me?” What he had managed was Beans next to toast. Maybe this would pass most of you by and you would accept that this is how things go but I found myself doing my best Clint Eastwood squint while assembling my breakfast into the correct order. I suppose it could have been worse and he could have done toast on beans?

After I’d finished I then went to pay the bill came to £5.40. Now I only had £5 in cash so I asked, “Can you let me off the 40p please?” I was hoping that the breakfast self-assembly would allow for some discount but he looked at me blankly. I then offered to pay by card. “We only take cards from £8 and above” the man said with another blank stare. He then reached into his meager tips pot to pay the 40p difference making me feel really terrible and guilty that this mans tips are now going to pay towards my breakfast, and of course I now have to go back to the car and bring not only the 40p difference but a super friendly tip to make up for my financial short comings. Blarh!!!

I’m starting to realise that my German driving trip blogging is starting to drag on now and that my original idea of writing a little bit every time I write a new blog will actually involve the end of my trip being written in about 27 years time. To keep it simple I’ll say only this. The Southern part of Germany and the Black forest is the most stunning of landscapes you could ever imagine. Tall trees as far as the eye can see, people that are friendly and warm. Food that is amazing and filling, mostly being meat and potato of course which I love and beautiful architecture especially at Neuschwanstein Castle. The mountain toboggan at Todtnau that I rode down at 100,000 miles per hour was such a thrill that I wish I’d gone back up and done it a few times again. The Steins of beer especially in Munich were huge and very intoxicating along with the surfers which I’m sure were there and not a result of too much beer.

I drove through many villages that were strangely devoid of life. I mean seriously devoid of any life. There were cars, houses, cafes, hotels but just no people walking about. This happened so many times I actually thought that a zombie apocalypse had hit the town. One town near Nuremberg was somewhat different as the cast members of the village of the dammed exclusively populated it. I walked into one dingy restaurant and discovered them all watching a woman eat a sausage. Please understand how bloody strange this is. They literally sat around a big table while one woman, chewed on a single sausage from a fork. Nobody else has food and nobody talked. They just sat there staring and I’ve never run away so fast with a genuine fear that I might be the second course.

Germany is full of history and culture while being modern and traditional at the same time. The first and especially the second world war are marked and communicated in a very natural way with former Nazi buildings still being used as local town halls still adored with eagles and even a Burger King that has the swastika outline clearly visible on the sides like a dirty mark left over when the Nazi symbol was removed 60 years ago and never cleaned up. Its not that they want to show it off or are proud of it, more that they don’t want to hide away from the past or try and cover it up like it never happened. They just want time to wear it away and let it be ignored. It was a dark time for Germany and the world and it just doesn’t deserve any more time. Nothing said this more than the location of the Nuremberg rallies where Hitler gave his speeches to the brainwashed crowds. Its not been smashed into a million pieces or turned into a museum. Its just been abandoned to litter, graffiti and a place where truckers park up for a nights sleep.

Below are some of the pictures I took on my travels. I hope you like them. I’m now thinking about lunchtime. The menu says, Cheese on Toast but I’m not feeling confident.

Moli and the little green bag…

October 2, 2014Moli

Hello…

I was coming home on the train the other night after an evening out drinking with friends. I sat at one end of the train and after a few stops a young girl got onto the train and sat next to me with a Fortnum & Mason bag that contained her shoes. After 5 minutes the girl started to sink into her seat. I didn’t think too much of it until she gently removed her shoes from the green bag and promptly emptied the contents of her stomach into it. I couldn’t get further away from her as I pushed myself into the glass panel. A terrible smell started to fill the carriage and the other passenger’s nostrils began to acknowledge that things were not going too well for this girl. I honestly thought everyone was going to start throwing up but just in the nick of time she ran off the train at the next stop looking ever so drained. As the doors on the train closed, the whole train carriage began laughing and for one brief moment the anonymous travelers that never speak or make eye contact with each other started to engage each other. It didn’t last long sadly.

On my last blog I mentioned that I went to southern Germany for a 10 day driving tour. Waking up in Frankfurt for the first time we turned to Google and Google Maps to help us get around. The city is spread out and is a mixture of old and new buildings with a big financial district complete with skyscrapers. Main Tower can be accessed by the public and gave us a great view of the city like going up The Shard.

Sadly the Monday we arrived is when most if not all the museums and galleries are closed. So, we ended up walking the streets and walking across the Eiserner Steg Bridge which is also known as the Frankfurt Love Lock Bridge.

Thousands of people going back decades have declared their love for each other by placing a lock onto the bridge. The earliest lock I found was going back to the early 80’s. I wonder if the lock has lasted longer than the relationship?

We had made a sort of pledge to eat as much German food as possible and this meant eating lots of Sausages, Schnitzels and Sauerkraut. Frankfurt has a reasonably priced restaurant called Leib und Seele. The beers were large and the mushroom Schnitzel was fantastic. The only bad part was the poor service but I really didn’t care that much as I was fairly drunk from drinking a couple of big Steins of beer.

The next morning we got ourselves over to the main train station where we pick up our hire car. Now, this should have been a painless and straightforward process. However, AVIS didn’t want to do this and made it the most frustrating and uncomfortable experience possible. I’d organised the hire car well before we left and was of the understanding that the damage waiver that we’d bought meant that in the event of any damage to the car we’d not have any excess to pay. Can you imagine how shocked I was when I was told that we only had an 800€ excess to pay instead of giving them my kidney should the car get a scratch. However we could pay for a second and higher level damage waiver that would mean we had no excess to pay. The android behind the counter didn’t seem to understand how we were now feeling conned and to add insult to injury the car we wanted wasn’t available but we could upgrade from a tandem bike to a luxury car for an additional fee. Our driving trip was now getting more and more expensive and we’d not driven anywhere. We really had no choice but to pay up and get our Infinity Q50 which was a very nice car but the whole experience with AVIS had made me feel sick. Pass the Fortnum’s bag please.

Next stop. Heidelberg.

Moli takes a Deep Breath and goes to Germany…

September 25, 2014Moli

Boy, oh boy. I’ve been meaning to write my blog for such a long time now. I’ve been so very busy and distracted that I just couldn’t do it. I need to be in the mood to write and get my thoughts together. I started a new job recently that has taken up my energy, focus and most importantly time. It’s basically the same job I already do but with a new team that need my help to put processes into place to make their job easier to do, to coach and develop the sales team to success and ultimately deliver a successful business. The challenge is bigger than I was expecting and will also take longer to achieve but I also know that I can make a difference. The hardest part for me isn’t to do with the job itself, that for the most part I know what I’m doing and have a plan. But the commuting and 7am start times are already more than my body and soul can handle. I’ve been very lucky for the past few years having such a short journey to work, so I guess it’s going to feel very different. Certainly having a 5-minute commute makes you lazy and complacent. So, this change in working arrangement should give me the kick up the bum I need to think about my career and future. So, literately watch this space. Should I actually get around to writing about it of course.

So, what have I been doing? I was lucky at the end of August to attend the Leicester Square premiere of the Doctor Who episode ‘Deep Breath’. Arriving at the square a couple of hours before the start, I was greeted with the sight a glowing big blue box, The Tardis. It was joined with a lone Dalek along with people dressed in various Doctor Who related costumes. Anyone who’s been to Leicester Square will know it’s a disgusting tourist trap full of very odd people, Hen and Stag groups and the drunken and broken of society which made me think that someone dressed as a Cyberman or 2000 year old Timelord really didn’t look that out of place.

I’m not going to go into detail about the first episode of new Doctor, Peter Capaldi as some time has passed now. All I can say is I enjoyed it very much and a large audience of Whovian’s cheering along will always make things more enjoyable. I wonder how a terrible episode like “The rings of Akhaten” would have faired with a cinema release? Oh, I know. It would still be bloody terrible!!! The most enjoyable part of the night was the appearance of Peter Capaldi, Jenna Coleman and Steven Moffat for an after screening Q&A hosted by presenter Zoe Ball.

Seeing the new Doctor in the flesh was fantastic and the crowd went wild when smoke filled the room and the Doctor lifted out of the floor. That was one hell of a dramatic entrance. The Q&A was by the numbers and many of the questions having already been asked wasn’t going to shock but it was still engaging and great fun. Frankly at this point Capadli could have read the phone book and I would have had a smile on my face. The whole experience was very enjoyable and I was very lucky to be one of the few that got to attend and it was a great way to start my holiday.

The next day I flew out from London City airport to Frankfurt to begin a 10 day driving tour of southern Germany. That blog is coming soon. Promise.

The names Moli…

August 19, 2014August 20, 2014Moli

I’ve always loved James Bond stories and one of my favorite TV shows was Spooks on the BBC. I guess the idea of secret missions, shooting guns and saving the world is fairly exciting. So can you imagine my excitement at being given a Spy Academy experience run by Buyagift.

Having driven out to Milton Keynes in my Aston Martin, (I wish) I prepared myself for training. The site looked like a farm and the meeting point was a barn where you would normally send the tractors after a hard day ploughing or whatever tractors do. The barn was adorned with pictures of the various James Bonds looking swarve and sophisticated which I’m sure were aimed to get me in the mood for Spying but sadly these images didn’t offset the dirty barn and the ill prepared presentation that was on hidden cameras and microphones that really failed to impress. We have Webcams, CCTV and recording devices that can be bought on the high street and appear to do the same thing. The presentation didn’t make me feel this technology was special in any way. This then led to a self-defense class that showed me how to defend myself from someone with a rubber knife. It did remind me of a Monty Python sketch where a group of people were learning how to defend themselves from someone welding some fruit. I was tempted to ask, “When do we learn to defend ourselves from someone holding a pointed stick” but I just went along with the rather rushed training which was then followed up with the caveat of “Don’t try this at home” as it “Probably won’t work”

We then moved on to a shooting range that I was hoping would be real rifles and targets but it was just a bunch of air rifles like the ones you get at the fairground but without the chance to win a teddy bear or a goldfish. I actually enjoyed this part of the day but the effort involved in taking each shot was far removed from any spy antics I was expecting. It was just a bunch of blokes shooting empty plastic mike bottles with pellets. I somehow doubt my shooting skills and small pieces of lead would hold back attacking henchman for very long. We then moved into learning how to attack an empty field with plastic machine guns and plastic pellets. This was now far removed from the world of international espionage I’d signed up for and closer to learning about being in the army. If it was an Army Academy then I’d have understood but the plastic guns didn’t function, as the batteries were dead which now was starting to test my patience. However, I should really take some sort of pleasure in knowing that after all my efforts, something had actually died.

I couldn’t believe things could get much worse during this experience day. Then we moved into an outdoor version of Laser Quest. Now dressed in a oversized helmet and very oversized Alien style laser machine gun. As the rain came down and the whistle blew to start the match I soon discovered that the gun made a bang bang sounds from its built in speaker but didn’t actually have any impact on the people I was shooting at. To test this I stood less than a meter from some poor wet sod and fired to my hearts content. I let rip until my laser bullet counter went dry and it did nothing. Maybe I should have used a pointed stick?

The final two phases of this adventure were quick draws with a plastic pistol that must now mean I’ve joined Western Academy? I’m not sure how many spy films draw from a leg holster? I’m sure I remember James Bond having a shoulder holster at least. This then followed on to the next activity of throwing an axe into a piece of wood. So that must mean I’ve now join the Game of Throne’s Academy? This activity didn’t last too long as there isn’t much mileage in wood meets axe.

On the whole I was really disappointed with this experience because it was sold as a Spy Academy but was a mixture of poorly prepared sessions that had as much to do with spies as James Bond does with cake baking. It was certainly an experience.

Moli meets a Princess…

July 18, 2014Moli

Last weekend in a Galaxy far far away, I attended the London Film and Comic Con. I do like a film fair. Stalls selling all manner of tat and film memorabilia that I love to peruse and occasionally buy from. Now, I didn’t buy an early bird ticket but I really wasn’t ready for the hugely long line of film fans waiting to get in or the nearly 3 hour wait until I finally got a ticket for entry.

When I moved inside Earls Court I was fairly shocked that the big space chosen to host this event was filled with thousands people and at the back was where I needed to go. I had to push my way through, on one of the hottest days of the year and that was truly a horrible experience. Frankly it was far too busy and the organisers were too greedy and not thinking of health and safety. After a fair amount of pushing and shoving I managed to get another ticket to meet one of the star guest, Carrie Fisher from Star Wars. I’ve met loads of Star Wars actors and everyone I know has a Dave Prowse signed photo but I’ve never had the chance to meet one of the big names like Mark Hamill, Harrsion Ford and Carrie Fisher. The ticket number I had was numbered around 800 and currently the line started at 50. So I had a fair wait and was told to come back in 4 hours. I used the time to look around and take some pictures of the people that had spent time and some real effort to dress up.

I returned to the Carrie Fisher line after 3 hours and the numbers were only up to 250 that didn’t bode well for my chances. However I got lucky and begged to be let in which I duly was. The rules for the meeting were fairly strict given how long people had waited. The signing wouldn’t be personalised and you couldn’t take her picture. All this I found fair ridiculous and another example of the greedy nature of the event. It was all about making as much money as possible for the fat promoter with the dyed black hair. However, I didn’t listen to the ‘No photo’ rule and decided to take a picture of her anyway.

I guess it’s a big business now but the over crowding and rushed experience with the guest made me feel a little underwhelmed and cheated out of the experience I and many other should have had. Anyway, I did meet Carrie Fisher.

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